Night in Tunisia

Concerning Colostrum

Pardon, first, to anyone who might be insulted at the following. That's certainly not my intent. I simply wished to announce to the world a rather less than fortuitous meeting of names, worlds, and questionable products...

Colostrum is the label on a strange-looking bottle with the requisite green leaf that adorns anything coming from a health-food store. On it is a picture of a woman breast-feeding a kid whose head is oddly deformed by the curving bottle. Above the bold Colostrum is written 'first milking.' Contrary to what Freud might say, that does not make me imediately want to ingest it.

But I'm confused here. What exactly is this stuff and what does it do? Apparently 'each losenge contains bovine colostrum, harvested from select Grade A dairies within the first six hours' - but first six hours of what!? And what is colostrum, anyway?

Colostrum : The thin yellowish fluid secreted by the mammary glands at the time of parturition that is rich in antibodies and minerals, and precedes the production of true milk. Also called foremilk.

Ewwwww... yick! yick! yick! And guess what, boys and girls, you get to chow down on the concentrated form. Of course the antibodies are all dead by then, but you've still got the minerals.

But wait! There's a doctor who can explain it all! Doctor Dick Cockrum the Colonostrum Guru! The man who rediscovered the joys of... well... cow teats. Ummm. I had a hard time holding a straight face when I read that one through the first and second times. breathe. okay. I feel like I'm in high school all over again. But seriously! What kind of parents would do that to their child...

And what does the magic pre-milk cow juice do? Not a clue. Naturally rich in vitamins and minerals... So's dirt. And vegetables. But that's beside the point. I suppose if I bought it I'd know what to do with it.

Hey, I'm not against homeopathic remedies. I'm not even against remedies hawked by a Dr Dick Cockrum. I think I could even go so far as to accept that I'd be sucking back pre-milk cow juice... I just don't really know what it does or where the scientific basis is for the extract... urg.

posted by Loren @ 1:43 p.m.